All Wrapped up in Labels: the rebellious post

Yes indeed, it feels like months since I last posted…

I’ve had a lot going on… as usual!!! That’s not all… I also wanted to feel like I had something important to say. Getting married also had a little to do with it…

;)

The whole process of “tying the knot” can be both stimulating and exhausting. You know: lots of formality and planning. Unfortunately, in focusing on the negative, I found myself in a precarious situation…

My inner “rebel” was coming out in very adamant ways… apparently I had something to prove—or at least I needed to prove what I did not want to be.

I was also obsessing about the meaning of the word “tradition.” 

And as soon as I found myself shunning tradition, I became the judgment on the other side of what I had felt was a brilliant argument.

As soon as you drop one label for another, you’re “cashin’ in on the judgment gravy train’ man, and just as ‘bad’ as what you’re shunning.

That’s right, what started out as a decision to wed that was grounded in the things most important to me—symbolism, growth, momentum and progression—was unfurling the evil demon within…one that was annoyed with everything that was NOT these aforementioned things. All the things that seem to be associated with “what marriage is” did not seem to quite fit (so many things I could say about that), and this difference was fueling my fire to rebel!

Mind you… there were no doubts about my relationship. But we have BOTH asked: is this the way we want to do it? How important is getting married in what you might call—a “traditional” way?

It didn’t matter much to either of us.

Ok, anyway, my point: Don’t obsess about the differences! 

The difference between what it ‘should be’ and what it ‘should NOT be’ is a bordered by a deceivingly DEEP puddle. Is anybody up for the swim?

I think I needed to realize that taking a swim should be more about enjoying where you are. YES, that good feeling… no judgment, no lack, not what it could be, but just what IS… that’s if I chose to even accept the puddle, and the two "opposites" that I created in my bordered world.

Don’t accept the puddle.

I had become self-defeated in my own little rebellion: my ‘perceived’ enemy (tradition) was probably really enjoying laughing at me.

There are no boundary lines, and labels are only moderately helpful—some more than others. When you’re a designer, thinking “outside of the box,” is a label that implies you’re different. You’re in a sense judging what’s IN the box, right?

It gets sticky, as all our decisions—no matter how objective—are made from our own unique point of view, and in the end, whether you’re being in the box, out of the box, in the puddle, or swimming upstream—it doesn’t really matter. It’s what you put into it, what’s genuine and intentional, and what’s appropriate for you or a client. Let THAT speak for itself. In the end, I’ll gladly carry a slightly “unapologetic attitude,” making appropriate decisions, and accept that that is the rebellion I’m going live with. But I’m not going to rule out—or make judgments so strongly in the future, because ALL options are potential options, and everything is optional: decided upon by all of us.

We ALL probably want to make important distinctions about how we are different—that’s very valid, in design and in life. But let’ not go overboard and forget that they’re all just expressions… If you feel that they are genuine expressions that are worthy of sharing, then you’re ‘spot on’ man!

In the case of a wedding ceremony and events, I know we went right to this point. We made it our own, in what felt very genuine. It included our beliefs, and focused on the fact that we just wanted to celebrate with everyone dear to us… and not get too bogged down in—dare I say—tradition.

Tradition is not the point—genuine intention IS. But leave the labels behind. Somewhere in there, there’s a balance, just don’t go for the deep swim, ay?

m

It’s never just ‘one’ thing…

This week I’m reflecting a little on something that has become prominent in the work I do:

Creating experiences

Often as I experience life, create things, go through everyday existence, and do whatever it is that I love to do best, it’s easy to forget that my life is best lived as an experience.

Let me be more concrete: it’s always a few (or many) things – aka variables – making up or effecting what’s happening – or what I’m experiencing.

For instance, let’s talk business: from a retail perspective, I think it’s more valuable to me to see a technology product in a store, and get a sense for how it will integrate into my life. What other ‘things’ will I use with it? Will it fit in my living room? Will it make various things I do easier or better? Will it benefit my customers (oops, I mean visitors to my house)? Basically, what’s the value add?

A tool by itself is just a hammer, but taken with nails, and a few boards, and now you’re experiencing a small house for pets (or perhaps your new home away from home, if you have had some domestic drama).

I think there is definitely some benefit to showing me how to use Excel – after all, I DO need to know how to swing a hammer – but I am much more interested in the experience of seeing how it might work in a “real-world scenario,” or even used with other tools that integrate it more conveniently in my life (i.e. show me a way to sync my spreadsheet across all my technology devices…) now THAT is useful – and that’s an example of what I am calling  an “experience” here.  It’s also more memorable, and you can see the value in it much more – because it’s more tangible.

You have now experienced it.

It sticks in your experience and your memory, and becomes part of you.

Nothing’s really ever ‘about’ one thing.

My day is great because of the sunshine, but it’s also about my commute, the people I work with, my loving partner, and many other things. It’s helpful at times to focus on one thing at a time, especially if something is not working well. I’m just trying to say that in this instance, picking up the pieces of something that is “not working,” is only a fragmented approach. Whether it’s a positive or negative experience, the most productive thing you can do experience life, enjoy it, and when things aren’t working, pay attention to the things you try to change, because your experiences are so darn “wholistic” that changing an one piece of your puzzle may change the picture.

I’m paying more attention these days to what makes things work, how I experience the world, how complex those experiences are, and how I feel better, and am more productive when experiences flow together well. Sometimes I DO need to take things apart in a rather mechanistic fashion, and again – that can be very helpful. However, it still comes down to the messiness sometimes known as the human condition. If we lived life in pieces, we’d constantly be falling apart, because the glue never really would have a chance to dry. It all just changes too fast!

I’m not saying I’ve got it all figured out. All I’m saying is I’d like to think I’m aware of something much bigger at work here – and ultimately, I LOVE it! That said, I also accept it’s a bit of a struggle at times, and I am happy to take that humility pill, and just know I will never really have it ALL figured out. That’s life’s journey: experiences and me. Oh no… even THAT statement implies fragmentation… Ok, maybe we’ll take that up in another post.

Hope this is all making sense, but bottom lining it – life seems to happen best when it comes in “integrated sets of experience” – and I'm remembering... it’s never just one thing.

Removing the Clutter: Grand Design

When we draw or design on the page, we focus, we capture the essence—we balance elements, and simplify to communicate what we want to say.

When writing a song, even if there are multiple “layers” of instruments, we always keep the message in mind: in some kind of priority.

When providing an effective training solution, the words are chosen wisely, the audience is carefully considered, and we don’t try to pack too many thoughts or concepts into any particular section or module—we focus, because the learning needs to progress and build, and it too, has priorities or goals.

When living our lives… the low-level sounds we often take for granted can affect our experience, and create clutter. The focus is sometimes broken, and our experience fragmented—whether we are aware of it… or not. The disconnected thoughts we experience everyday—part of being human—are easy to take for granted. I know that I actually forget they are even there! 

But the forgetting doesn’t mean they still don’t affect us.

Regardless of context… life is like the golden ratio, or a beautiful spiral… everything is flowing—together, and perhaps there are no truly “random” thoughts.

Clutter is created by the human mind—perhaps it’s even unique to the human mind. 

I feel like it has been running me intermittently—most of my life. A balance needs to be struck: The enjoyment of being human, and the discipline of simplicity, and almost mathematical balance.

Even that “empty” negative space counts… 

The grand design is elegant.

The grand design is beautiful.

The grand design is well-woven and intertwined—but in such a seamless way that when it’s done well, you don’t know it’s operating. 

Grand design is seamless, and the experience is not even noticed—but it’s felt.

When the clutter no longer exists, whether on the page or in our minds, we return to the concept of focus—of true presence.   

I’ll say it again:

Even that “empty” negative space counts.

Go create some…

Sorry it’s been a few weeks, I’ve been busy. I think weddings may provide some great focus, once you get past the potential clutter.

c-ya!

m

Why do we need it?

Yesterday I did something I almost never get to do: take a walk with my dad. No, not because I don’t want to, or don’t have the time, but because we live about 3000 miles apart (Seattle-to-New York is a long run for me, I’m still working on it—I’m gonna try a standard length marathon first, because Forrest Gump is still a better distance runner than I).

All that said, I grew up in one of the most beautiful tourist towns in the U.S.: Lake George, NY. It is simply beautiful, and when it’s hot and sunny in the July sun, it’s unforgettable. 

On the streets of Lake George: a mighty performer! BTW: he's holding a bowling pin, a knife... and a plunger!

I have been running my butt off out here, and it really feels good. That said, my story is about walking. Slower pace—taking it all in. And my dad—well—he likes to wander. We just can’t ever walk side by side. It’s kind of endearing… it’s ok, I love him for it. This was the kind of walk that had a feeling of two very disparate feelings: isolation and togetherness.

Isolation and togetherness

So really, the first word is not really about being physically apart. We were enjoying our own form of connection as we dodged the tourists by the boardwalk on the lake. What I realized shortly after leaving the house through, was that I left with no keys, no cell phone and no wallet: completely empty pockets. A million thoughts from a city dweller that is always in touch with these things, and always able to be reached. I was out of touch, unable to buy a coke, and unable to open a garage door without help.

Oh hail to true freedom!

So what are we really? Are we all these crazy objects we’re attached to? I just dropped my iPhone for the umpteenth time, and felt bad about it, because I like my technology toys to always be shiny (well, this one is thoroughly scuffed at this point). What are we focused on? Ok, ok… what am I focused on?  Do we all just need a “walk with dad” sans any kind of technology, identification, purchasing power or house entry ability? Is that what we need to rediscover ourselves, our place in the world, and our attraction and attachment to “things?” 

Ok… I vote for togetherness.

Now, if that happens to involve gadgets, great. As I continue to become involved with Microsoft retail services (ala the Microsoft Store), I have to be aware of technology, new developments, and family purchasing trends... I guess in this case, it's MY purchasing trends in relation to family... or something like that. But it's more about letting go as I simply enjoy companionship.

With all that said, I stand corrected. This is what I am up against: in reflecting upon togetherness, I write from the house of my parents. We have been watching the movie “What Women Want.” My mom just went to bed to watch TV. She turned on the same movie. How should I feel about this?

Togetherness?

Ok, I’ll just try to be thankful for quadraphonic sound (stereo from two rooms…).

Ahhh, togetherness…

m

Perpetual Motion: Work and Careers in the “New Economy”

At the risk of repeating myself, I recently received a note from an email list regarding something I have thought about (and written about) more than once, and I felt compelled to write about it again: professional success finding work (of any kind) in current economic times.

As asked by a writer for The Career News:

“Is the new career a perpetual job search?”

I think this gets at the heart of something I have mentioned before. Not to sound too exhaustive in my emphasis, but my title of “Perpetual Motion” implies not on movement, but the ability to adapt to change—sometimes on the end of a dime.

Job searches seem to happen in shorter, quicker cycles for many these days—and that’s simply the reality. The 3-5 year job search cycle has been whittled down to 3-5 month in many cases. I am not trying to paint a picture of fear and cynicism, merely cultivate some kind of acceptance of the bigger ‘system’ that YOU are operating within. We’re ALL operating within a much different system—economically. And culturally, we are only starting to adapt to it. Many of us still expect what we used to view as stability: the long-term permanent position. These definitely exist, and if that’s your preference, that’s great. I know that I for one, would like more stability.

Well what if stability IS perpetual change, or at least, the ability to change—as effortlessly as possible—if needed?

I’m not saying you should necessarily ‘look’ for change, but in some cases that might actually apply… and if it doesn’t apply, let’s just say you have been ‘trained’ for success, because you can more often recognize when change might be coming!

“Perpetual Motion” essential sums up the ability to change when needed—you accept it, and are capable of it, and it’s essentially the norm.

In that sense, as The Career News says, “The future work style is less like a traditional career and more like running your own small business.” Think of work and career as something you truly have to own, as it’s part of your brand. Don’t start talking to people only after a contract ends, or there’s a layoff.

Build relationships NOW.

Make it part of your modus operandi, your MO that is your everyday way of doing things. That way, when you really need work, everyone you talk to already knows it, and there is a different ‘rhythm’ to your system. Your MO supports the flow of your work, from one project to another, or one full-time job to another.

There are definitely many jobs, and job-hunters out there that still flow from one 3-5 year job to another, but it is becoming more and more common to see 3-12 month contracts.

Flow with the change… embrace… adapt… allow… let go of resistance and know that change is here today and the sooner you adapt and flow with it, the sooner you can get to feeling good about your career.

These are words I finally understand, as the last 3 years have been very difficult, and I have learned much of this through the process of discovering my own new career direction, and I invite you to do the same.

Why is it important? Well, hopefully I have clarified that a little bit, but one more thing I will say is that being in perpetual motion, and being more adaptive can be a valuable skill in many critical ways. Not only is it valuable for a job search, but it’s also a valuable ongoing trait while in a position, because you recognize opportunity in a much more ‘energized’ way. Perpetual motion creates opportunity at every turn, if you leave the past behind. 

So before it gets “bad…” 

Before things get “out of hand…” 

And before desperation and potential feelings of victimization set in (after a worst case scenario like a lay-off)… 

Consider perpetual motion as an alternative…

Of course if you’re already IN the vicious cycle, and need work now, it’s harder… at first… it may call for doing something ‘tolerable’ while you change your patterns, but the long-run well is worth it!

It took me a long time to let go of what I thought I wanted, and how I thought things were supposed to be. I started to pay attention to what was actually happening, not what was in my head. I also paid more attention to what I really enjoyed doing, and what energized me. That perspective led to change. If I can help any of you readers by writing this, I am forever grateful that maybe I have actually learned something valuable over the last few years. But I’m only part of this; it’s also the bigger system we operate within, and how that is changing… 

Comments?

Thanks as always-

m