Sources of Resistance

“I think that as we grow up, there are many experiences we have that leave an emotional memory on our internal organs and they stay there as old wounds, a little hurtful and a little sore. We don’t even know that we’re carrying them. I felt that there was a kind of block between the way I felt and my real self, like there was something unresolved.”

~Raquel Welch

Long-term patterns of thought and behavior are easy to miss in our everyday experiences when they have been occurring at a very low level, for a very long time.

And the sources of our creative thought can be weighted down by a source of resistance we either will not fully acknowledge, or have not discovered yet. That said, chances are, we all feel “the disconnect” or the block Raquel describes above at some time in our lives.

I'd like to talk about how accepting and recognizing resistance as a necessary part of life, can bring healing, growth, or at least a new perspective...

As a drummer, I have had a relationship with ‘movement’ for a very long time now. From the movement of the arms, hands and wrists for a single drum, to all parts of the body for a full drum kit. Over time, new approaches become more firmed rooted or embedded in “muscle memory.”

Approximately 12 years ago, I started running regularly. Not only did my level of fitness increase, but also my relationship with movement changed, and it literally felt freer and more powerful. Let’s just say rehearsals could go a lot longer with little to no exhaustion, so powerful and so freeing! It was like a ‘blocked artery’ that was flowing free again. My readiness to feed off of other musicians, and respond in the moment also increased. It was amazing. It also increased my ability to go into “the zone,” and establish new patterns through muscle memory. Let’s just say the change in my exercise routines changed my approach profoundly, and it gave me new perspective.

With not enough context around something that has been present in our emotional system for a long time, it is very difficult to imagine what life might be like without it there. We’re used to it, and for better or worse, we may even like it there, and are very unwilling to change it. Maybe that’s why it’s worth trying new things—even if you’re not sure about something internally. It might just give you that perspective, and that higher-level vantage point that you needed all along.

From a much closer point of view for me, I have been carrying patterns in my life, from relationship to relationship (in friendships AND partners) for a long time now. Looking for the patterns that keep occurring in the dynamics of multiple relationships across longer periods of time can be one of the most useful things to examine for long-term happiness, confidence, and the ability to navigate towards the best personal and professional choices for you. We seem to now live in a world that requires questioning, awareness, and integrity from a higher level—change in the world runs so deep. Our connection with these virtues was always there, but perhaps we have a need to be reacquainted with them?

Asking yourself, what is truly worth your attention can help loosen patterns of blocked resistance, and allow you to not only see things differently, but you’ll feel lighter and more “buoyant.”

Transcending limitations requires an open mind and a flexible heart, but most of all, it requires you to reconnect with you… Since we are always essentially changing, over the course of time, there will be things that define you, and that you may want to hold on to, and then there will be patterns and beliefs that probably no longer serve your best interests.

Keep an eye out for those that no longer serve you, and be thankful for the ones that give you passion, excitement and momentum for what you do. Remember that you’re allowed to change, and fuel those fires of creativity!!!

To round out this post, music is something I need to evaluate. There has been some resistance in there, and some blockages that I thought I flushed out. WelI, I am still fleshing it all out, but know I am ready for some new opportunities. Nothing feels quite right yet… but we’ll get it soon. After all, it takes a little time for new patterns to become engraved in muscle memory.

Happy spring everybody!

m

Life Through Song: Part II

***Please note: the following is a true story, but names and events may have been changed to protect all participants.

It was a soggy, but rainless day, somewhere in the winter of 2010.

I threw on my running shoes, threw some new tunes on my iPod, and hit the road for my periodic “urban run” of Seattle.

My urban run would vary in length and route, but would generally start in the south end of downtown (this was before all the construction started in the city, so I no longer can take this route, due to lack of parking. Looks like we’ll need to bus it!)

Anyway, I settled in to my run. Taking the waterfront out of the Sodo district. I remembered at that moment that a quirky accapella song by Reggie Watts had snuck on to my playlist. His vocals-only looping, layering and smooth sounds sunk easily into my head through my headphones.

I ran the waterfront and dodged people in this very touristy area. I enjoyed the street life and people watching immensely. I listened closely to the music. Something new appeared in the mix. This melodic treat started threading an instrument (quite nicely) into the mix.

Where did THAT come from?

Reggie was now singing along with a horn. I enjoyed the ‘new’ undiscovered version of this song, and wondered how Reggie snuck it by me—I always knew he was a crafty devil.

I looked to the left at the water, and the ships coming in. I then looked to my right to spy a lone sax player. This street-performer was playing for tips, and having a grand ‘ol time. He had somehow managed to infiltrate my mix with his improvised saxual prowess. He was in the right key, the right tempo, the right feel, and even managed to swing his head along with the music in my headphones just right. At NO point did he get in the way of Reggie’s (multiple) voices. It was true perfection.

I did not stop running, but I did run in place until the end of the song playing in my headphones. I cherished that connection for the next 4 minutes.

Amazing.

I have never felt such alignment and synchronicity like that. It gave me increased energy for the remainder of my run, and to this day I try to pay attention to not only my environment, but how sounds, music, myself, and my environment all intertwine.

m

Life Through Song

Over the last month or so, I have been doing a fair amount of "retooling," re-evaluating and reflecting about life and my experiences. I have also been deeply rooted in considering various patterns I have adopted and used to-date, in my life experiences. I am very rejuvenated: we are merely days away from Spring, and there is something very symbolic about the sprouting and growth that can occur as the seasons give way, giving subtle nudges and a reminder that we need to move forward with our lives…

I'm convinced that I live my life through all kinds of symbolism.

One of my life-long patterns is how I communicate through song and rhythm, lyric and melody. Not only am I a musician, but I also communicate and relate to everyday experiences through songs. These songs are my little tidbits or "memes" of experience—determined by culture, culled by me—to create meaning and memories of various things have happen in moments both significant, and (not so) significant.Songs resonate for me in two ways:

As an "internal" soundtrack: hearing a song in my head while something is happening, hearing a song after something has happened, or just plain waking up with the curse of a catchy jingle that just won't go away…

Examples:

Bon Jovi: The album playing during my first (and worst) car accident to date included the song "Living on a Prayer." Coincidentally, that album has some other, much more pleasant memories that I won't mention here…

Metallica: "I Disappear" a total must have for my rambunctious and ragged trail-running trips, dodging unsuspecting hikers and I FLY down trails (check out Mt. Si in Northbend).

Focusing on the need to strengthen the self through a little bit-o-rebellion known as Nine Inch Nails with "Only."

Modest Mouse: "Float On" was running in my head during one of the most dramatic relationships/breakups of my life.

Journey helps me embrace and accept past and future relationships, in the driving force of 80s rock with "Stone in Love." Focusing on the need to strengthen the self through a little bit of the rebellion known an Nine Inch Nails... "Only."

There are so many, but I'll end this short list with "Colorful" by the Verve Pipe. This one symbolizes the acceptance of self, knowing and being 'ok' with who I am at this point in my life—and knowing there are others that embrace me for it. It's very powerful. AND...

As a song used to describe something someone else may have said to me while having a conversation (just ask my partner about that one). It's basically embedded in the conversation as part of the narrative.

Examples:

Over the years, I often play phone tag with my good friend Dino. He always references the Cake song: "No Phone."

Keith Urban flows through my life in many ways, and "You're Better Half" always comes up when talking about relationships, travel, and sunshine.

Many others here as well, and are very hard to name, as they are so contextual… hard to remember because they are lived in the moment. I'll wrap up this 'non-all-inclusive' list with "You Can't Hide" from Maktub, as a reminder to me of how I make all attempts to live my life through transparency and open communication.

Basically…

Songs become the soundtrack to life. And they also are an expression of experience

Moving to a higher level, they also become symbolic tools to communicate and commune with others. In my case, they create a chance to relate in a way that is uniquely my own, but also a way for others to relate back to my experience (offering the potential to create something new together). Of course, it helps when all parties know the material!

;)

Whether it's a song, words or letters, graphics, images or icons or color, it's all this symbolic relating, using established conventions a starting point, and then we hopefully have an opportunity to take it a step further (that's the fun part).

Symbols in Design…

I am building upon my relating and experiences and creating new ones. This is the perfect analogy for what we do when we design. We use many of these symbolic tools to create experience, but it's also what we do with those tools, and how we do it that creates the new. Uniqueness, invention and innovation must always at least give a nod to established norms. And if it doesn't, it may eventually be embraced, but that process usually takes a great deal more time (sometimes more than something you might see in your own lifetime). I believe that starting with something people can relate to is the key, otherwise there's just no starting point!

What kinds of tools do you use to create relating in your communications and conversations?

Might there be some new ones you could embrace with both clients and friends/family to better serve mutual understanding and connection?

Be well and have a good week!

m

Where I Have Been, and Where I’m Going (AKA: Personal Stories About Professional goals).

This post is for every student that I have ever had: know that the chances of you affecting my life are just as likely as any impact I may have had on yours—it’s a mutual connection, thank you!

I seem to be lost in a little bit of a ‘reflective retrospective’ (or as Thomas Dolby might say: retrospectacle) today. It’s good… perfect for another rainy Seattle day.

About 3 years ago now, I set out to do something a little different with my career. I had been teaching non-stop for about 13 years, was presently a full-time teacher, with great students, and many opportunities to make a real difference in people’s lives.

Teaching was the unifying thread of my career, as I have created a very diversified resumé that covered so many areas of art and design (in some ways, this was also due to something called… layoffs). At the time, I found the diversity very frustrating, as it often hindered new work prospects (not always enough depth in any one area) influencing perceptions by hiring managers.

I just had to formally leave (full-time) teaching to rethink and re-evaluate. Professionally, I knew I needed to try some new things, and that was the key right there: I felt the pull, and just knew it was something I had to do. I didn’t even have a comprehensive game plan and didn’t quite know where I was headed: let’s just say it was a risk. Teaching represented stability in trying times. I loved so many aspects of it, felt very proficient at it, but I wasn’t developing as much in other professional areas.

So what did I do? Like Sting leaving the Police at the height of their popularity, I leapt without another full-time gig lined up.

I wouldn’t wish that move on anyone, but again—I just knew that I had to do it. I was patient, and contracts slowly started to trickle in again, like they had years back. Then something that never happened, happened: I started to pick up longer-term contracts as I continued to talk to people, build relationships, and just do everything to keep in touch with people. And all the hard work of years of talking to people started to really make sense.

There was a real sense that something was happening: I seemed to be in alignment.

Today, the ‘curse’ of a diversified resumé is actually becoming a blessing. Being able to move across a range of areas and projects, deal with a certain level of uncertainty, and create definition in uncharted territory is well suited for consulting and consultancies, and it’s a strong skill to build for anyone wishing to work in a leadership role, because you have to lead with the skill of being more proactive than reactive.  Of course, I still have deliverables that are determined by the client, but often I must navigate the uncertainty and help set the tone for the interaction with solid thinking that predicts hurdles before they happen.

What have I learned the last few years?

I started out looking for another full-time job that offered me the long-time tradition of what is considered “stable.”

In the meantime, life just kept happening, and something quite different was going on. I have almost come around to where I started: but not. Words of a very influential CEO and colleague echo in my mind as he has described what is needed to thrive in ‘the new’ climate: can you be flexible, agile, nimble, rolling on a dime, able to get the job done and do whatever it takes to get there, sometimes at a moments notice? Scary huh? 

The 'new stability' is the ability to not rely on anyone but yourself, when it comes to getting things done.  Even when an employer may be looking to hire you full-time, it still may not guarantee the long-term. You are the one who sets up the long-term, and the more flexible you can be, the more successful your options. Why wait for someone else to create it for you?

Don’t get me wrong folks, I’m still searching for the ‘perfect’ full-time or long-term opportunity… perhaps it exists, but in the meantime, I am not going to sit around waiting for the prospect of someone creating it for me. Life’s just too darn short!

  

I’m a Sagittarian, so I guess I am supposed to thrive on diversity and re-invention. I don’t take this thought lightly. I woke up from winter (maybe I’m manic) and rediscovered more of the “real” me (whatever that is). I rebalance my previous concepts of “self,” consider what I used to be, and know that there’s only room for a certain amount of that now, because change is a reality.

Ultimately, you need to accept yourself... 

And be driven by it.

Accepting yourself professionally, but from a very personal, inward level (don't get me started back on intention... that should still be fresh on the boards from the last post or two).

What I am trying to do here, and trying to do with this blog, is to have a forum to communicate, but also pass along some information I have gleaned through the struggles of the past few years: I just don't recommend looking for work in a way that just doesn't exist anymore. There is plenty of work out there, but it just doesn't exist through the "known channels" that have worked in the past. Business is different now, feel good about what you do—that's important—but be prepared to be flexible... and open minded.

I attach a low-resolution version of my “Infographic Resumé,” a true visual representation of information including what I have done, and where I’m going. My apologies go out to LJ, who requested seeing some of my early inspiration/work… the piece I was thinking of cannot be found. I will keep searching (isn’t that a great and symbolic concluding thought?)

See you on the journey…

m

What’s in it for me?

Another word for my post this week is intention. Yes, probably something I have already written about, but heck, let’s expand upon it!

As I come out of the doldrums of winter, I am attacking the creative arts with renewed vigor.

Why do we do what we do?

Intention is so important in anything we do, because it gets at the “how” of what we do. Really, I don’t think the “what” is nearly as important (unless perhaps you are a serial killer), because we all enjoy different things at work and at play, and getting at the “how,” will fuel our “what” endeavors.

That said, if we can get to the core of it, we can start to unpack the important stuff: that which drives us… our passions and motivations. Sometimes it’s something really practical, like the need to pay the bills, and other times it’s about what makes us smile, get excited or energizes us. And when life is at it’s best, and aligned with what we might call our “creative source,” it’s all of the above!

And that’s because we are finally getting at the core of it.

In contemplating my intention, I am reminded about why I got into this whole thing in the first place: I loved to draw. I must admit, I do very little drawing these days, and have pinpointed this as something I need to change… look out, I suspect I may be going for a return to the basics—for me, that is newsprint and charcoal, and perhaps some still life or figure drawing. This is but one area I am looking at, as things like music also need some ‘reconstruction and reinvention,’ but that’s another blog post!

Design is a beautiful and exciting business. I have embraced it in my life, but also have come to realize and accept its place in my life. It fuels creative thinking, but not necessarily in the same way as what started me on my path in the arts. It has evolved in some monumental and unexpected ways… and it has changed.

Change is not a bad thing, as I have enjoyed my professional progress in the last 15 years, but I also find the need to reconnect with the spark that set this whole creative explosion off to begin with: drawing.

So perhaps it’s with contemplation, reflection or something else that gets you to remember your intention. Sometimes just “doing it” is the way to go, trying things until something sticks, and sometimes forethought works too. Sometimes, it’s a balance of both.

If you could put your intention in a sentence or two, what would it sound like? It can really help you get back to the basics, reconnect with motivation, and keep you on focus: because that which creates momentum is controlled and created by the alignment of your actions/goals and your core intention.

Just a little test to see who’s reading… ask me about examples, and I’ll see if I can post something from that high school period… you know… the ‘spark’ period…

Ciao4Now!

m

Beauty in the Breakdown

So, let go, let go

Just get in. 
Oh, it's so amazing here 
It's all right

‘cause there's beauty in the breakdown

~ By Frou Frou

Songwriters: Heap, Imogen; Sigsworth, Guy

Seasons come and seasons go, and nothing stays the same very long. Isn’t change itself, very seldom appreciated? Well, perhaps only when it’s a more obvious, “positive” change.

I do think there are many of us that appreciate the struggles... if only in retrospect.

Over this past weekend's getaway trip-by-train to Portland, I discovered some of the great musical collaboration known as “Frou Frou.” I had originally heard them on an episode of Grey’s Anatomy month’s back, and recently located them on iTunes after hearing them on Pandora radio... oh how you can connect with so many things via technology and media exposure. 

What a GREAT sound for a grey, wet winter in Seattle.

It also had me thinking about something quite intriguing: the “beauty in the breakdown.” How could letting go and falling apart be beautiful?

For me, the breakdown is beautiful, because of what it symbolizes… a necessary part of rebirth. Nothing is beautiful (at least not in the same way we know it) forever. I think it all has to do with how we label, judge and qualify what beauty is. So it is about definition…

And about acceptance: In this case, death and birth are part of the process. I strive to embrace this whole process, as opposed to just one piece (the part one might typically label as beautiful).

Letting go and breaking down is a necessary part of life that cracks (or sometimes crashes) a window, eventually (or right away) opening the door for change. The opportunity cannot exist until we agree to go to that ‘scary place’ known as falling apart: a place full of ambiguity and the unknown. I truly must learn to better master this skill each year, right around when fall arrives. It is definitely NOT always easy!

As March has finally arrived, and the first day of spring is coming in just a few weeks, I remember that this breakdown is necessary for life to exist. I only wish I was experiencing it from 80 degrees and sunshine on the beach!

See you all in the sun-

m